today i rode the t in a powersuit and sharp, sensible heels and felt jittery and stripped of something essential, worried and on edge, frightened and on the wrong team.
tonight i came back to somerville, put my piercing back in and took my bra off, threw on a dress and cowboy boots and went to see jose gonzalez at the mfa. his show was soothing, lush, lulling, quiet, wistful, driving, plaintive, primal and achingly lonely. i closed my eyes and let the patterns of the lights play on the operating theater ceiling of my brain and it was as if a disembodied someone was singing in my ear. it carried me like the gulf of mexico: i felt clean.